The Joy You Were Created For

Has it really been over  a week since I last posted? I am so sorry. I promise you've all been on my heart and so has this mission. It's been a pretty trying week. Work has been insane and my dance schedule has ramped up for our performance next week. Then I add on race training and my second job and there you have it… I miss sleep!

So why do I do it? Why do I allow my schedule to be so jam packed?

Because these things brings me JOY

As silly as it sounds, doing all this stuff brings me joy. I love talking to new people at the winery. And while running isn't the most fun thing ever… there are moments of complete elation. (usually when it's over) Work doesn't exactly bring me joy, but it allows me to pay rent, and I kinda like that. 

When people link joy to fruits of the Spirit, they usually only think it's okay to have it when you're praying or worshiping. But, I really don't think God only made joy for those times. He created us all differently, with different skills and desires. We were made with great purpose. And when we pursue those purposes, we can feel it. We can feel the joy. 

My wonderful friend Amy turned me on to this quote. Eric Liddell was a missionary and an olympian. He was an incredibly wise man. And I think he hits it out of the park with this one. God made him with this passion. He did not make Eric fast for his own pride or self-worth, but so that when Eric does what he was made for, he is able to experience God's joy. God uses the things that bring us joy as tools to feel His happiness. 

I love to dance. I've never been shy on the dance floor, but it really came alive when I started taking belly dance lessons. When I start to dance, all my issues go away. I hear the music and my body matches with the rhythm and nothing else matters. Today, my teacher told me that my face lights up when I dance. I don't doubt it. God gave me this skill, and I can feel His joy when I use it. 

So what brings you joy? What were you designed to love and pursue? I know each answer will be different, but I can guarantee you that you look absolutely beautiful when you experience that joy. There's just something about the sparkle in someone's eye when they do what they love. And I hope that you embrace it. It was created exactly for you to experience. 

This Is Not A Post About A Boy

I mean, it kind of is… But not really. It also has something to do with faithfulness. 

Wooo, this feels funny to talk about. But I still feel like this needs to be said. To the single girls, [holla] do not let "rejection" from a boy dictate your self-worth. A boy not pursuing you does not mean that you are at fault or you did anything bad. It took me 25 years to figure this out.

I guess you need a little background. On Saturday I was at a beer festival at the zoo. 

A peacock and her zoo keepers

I ran into a boy that I work with. I didn't even remember his name, but we got along just fine. He asked for my number and told me that he would call me the next day. He never called. I saw him today and he was cold. I was in a funky mood all day, until I realized that was the reason why! I felt rejected by a boy who I couldn't even remember his name!!! I didn't even like him. But I was feeling like I did something wrong. That I was an awful person and ruined it. I had to remind myself that there was a reason this boy didn't pursue me, and it had absolutely nothing to do with me.

What I need is faith bigger than my own pride. Pride tells me that my own actions will decide whether or not I can get anyone to like me/ date me/ marry me. Faith tells me that there is a bigger/ better/ more beautiful plan out there for me. God has it figured out and there is nothing I can stress over to make it happen. I can take the opportunities presented to me, but that's it! There is no need to feel pressure.

If God wanted this boy to enrich my life and work it all together for good, then he would have called me no problem! But if it is not something that is desired for me, then I don't want it. The ONLY reason I would want a phone call would be pride. Or maybe to get a little more self-assurance. Neither are good or beautiful things!

By giving it up to God, I am giving up the illusion of control. That first jump is scary, but I have seen so much good happen by God's hands and not mine, that my FAITHFULNESS grows. Soon, the stress I put on myself is lessened and I get more peace. More peace means more joy. Are you seeing a pattern here?

Try A Little Gentleness

I see it all around. Everywhere from movies to my own workplace… the most aggressive person gets what they want. Or, the most aggressive person gets the most respect. I've let myself fall into the same thought process as well. In meetings, I will usually listen to the louder person. And sometimes even the ruder person, because they seem to have the most to say.

There was a time that I used that strategy to my advantage. In meetings, I wouldn't smile. I would interrupt people and, frankly, just be rude. Guess what... I left those meetings with an icky feeling. I wasn't leaving room better than I entered it. I wasn't showcasing the love of God. All for what? Some cheaply earned pride?

The world has enough yellers, liars, and aggressors. What it needs now is gentleness. 

Today's pics will be baby animal themed… Because they're gentle and why not?

I am currently working on a project with a lot of tension. Meetings are harsh and stressed, and so are the people. But you know what calms people down? A sweet and gentle spirit. That doesn't mean they are going to take advantage of my quietness. Quite the opposite actually. People WANT to respond to a gentle person. They WANT to talk to them. There's safety there.

Alpaca kisses

So I changed my strategy. I'm not going to be louder, I'm going to be smarter. I will allow the Spirit to flow through me and release that calm gentleness. It just puts the entire room at ease. This did not come easy at some times. And I did need to pray a lil for God to give me that fruitfulness. But He is faithful, I just needed to take that first step. I had to try.

Do I think there is a time and place to be loud and take a strong stand? Absolutely I do. But those are in extreme circumstances. I think I will know when that time is. I'll feel it and know how to respond. For any other time though, I will error on the side of gentleness.

And a baby bulldog. You are welcome. 

Media lies to tell women that they have to be a "bad-ass b*tch" to get by in the workplace. That's prideful and it will only breed fear and anxiety. NO! I will choose to honor God in all aspects of my life, and that includes the workplace. I will be educated and I will voice my opinions. But I will choose the gentler side of it.

Intelligence + Gentleness = Quiet Confidence

And what could be more beautiful than that?

Fruit of the Spirit: Peace

Whew, I am feeling much better today. I feel refreshed and renewed. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I made a decision….

I can not do this every day. 

When this blog started, I vowed to write every day on a topic of beauty. I was excited and I worked hard on my posts. As I went on, I wanted to put more heart into each topic I wrote on, but I constantly found myself without the time. These important topics are not getting the time, effort and reflection they deserve. Even more than that… I am not getting the feeding that I need. By spending so much time writing, I was losing my time with God, in prayer and in His Word. I found this blog becoming an idol in my life [funny how that happens] 

I feel a little failure in this, but anything I do can and will be used for God's glory. I will still be posting (hopefully still often), but I will listen and wait and reflect until it is what I need to talk about. I don't want to write just to write. I want to write to say something!

And in confessing this, I feel PEACE. [remember those fruits of the Spirit?] God does not want us suffering for the approval of people or for our own self-gratification. He wants us to work for His glory… no matter what that looks like. In my case, I have to admit that this is not what I originally thought it was. I thought I was going to write and change and move the world in a big way every day. 

I was wrong. Huuuuuuge surprise, right? No? Okay, I guess not...

So I am going to relinquish my idea of being right. I am going to listen to God when He tells me to slow down. To be still. I need to spend more time listening and less time talking. I will have the confidence in His plan for this. It is by prayer that I made this decision. It is by the peace in my heart right now that I know I am listening to the Spirit. I can't think of a more beautiful feeling. 

The ocean has always been my peaceful place. Just add in some scuffed up boots and I'm in Heaven!

Kicking Off The Fruits!

Hey Guys! So, I JUST got back from Disneyland with a few of my amazing friends…

I am rightfully tired, so I'll just keep this short and sweet. I have been struggling with this blog the last couple days. As right-on as I felt about it a week ago… that's how off I feel right now. I have been getting wrapped up in jealousy, fear, and loneliness. But I know that all good things have their ups and downs. And in our moments of weakness are when God's glory can shine the most. I still believe in this mission, and I love it very much.

So for the next nine days, I want to focus on fruits of the spirit and how they relate to beauty. The Holy Spirit is one of the most beautiful things I can think of, and these are the good works shining through. I will strive to have them shine through me! Not by me or for me, but through me.

Love

Joy 

Peace

Patience

Kindness

Goodness

Faithfulness

Gentleness

Self-Control

See Galatians 5:22-23

So heres to hoping and praying for some revival in my heart through this. 

Lord, have your way in this.