This Is Not A Post About A Boy

I mean, it kind of is… But not really. It also has something to do with faithfulness. 

Wooo, this feels funny to talk about. But I still feel like this needs to be said. To the single girls, [holla] do not let "rejection" from a boy dictate your self-worth. A boy not pursuing you does not mean that you are at fault or you did anything bad. It took me 25 years to figure this out.

I guess you need a little background. On Saturday I was at a beer festival at the zoo. 

A peacock and her zoo keepers

I ran into a boy that I work with. I didn't even remember his name, but we got along just fine. He asked for my number and told me that he would call me the next day. He never called. I saw him today and he was cold. I was in a funky mood all day, until I realized that was the reason why! I felt rejected by a boy who I couldn't even remember his name!!! I didn't even like him. But I was feeling like I did something wrong. That I was an awful person and ruined it. I had to remind myself that there was a reason this boy didn't pursue me, and it had absolutely nothing to do with me.

What I need is faith bigger than my own pride. Pride tells me that my own actions will decide whether or not I can get anyone to like me/ date me/ marry me. Faith tells me that there is a bigger/ better/ more beautiful plan out there for me. God has it figured out and there is nothing I can stress over to make it happen. I can take the opportunities presented to me, but that's it! There is no need to feel pressure.

If God wanted this boy to enrich my life and work it all together for good, then he would have called me no problem! But if it is not something that is desired for me, then I don't want it. The ONLY reason I would want a phone call would be pride. Or maybe to get a little more self-assurance. Neither are good or beautiful things!

By giving it up to God, I am giving up the illusion of control. That first jump is scary, but I have seen so much good happen by God's hands and not mine, that my FAITHFULNESS grows. Soon, the stress I put on myself is lessened and I get more peace. More peace means more joy. Are you seeing a pattern here?